My Life~

"Great, so where are we meeting?" I asked.

It was a Saturday afternoon. Me and a few frens of mine was sitting down at a cafe discussing about our plans for the school holiday break. We planned to go to Genting highlands, a resort which is located high up at the moutains. A nice place for relaxation and excitement. It was just right.

"Ok then, so it’s decided. Saturday, Mike’s place at 4pm," I said.

……

I quickly rushed back home and asked dad.

"No", Dad said without any hesitation.
"Y? It’s school holiday. And besides, it’s only a few days. Mike’s brother will be the one driving." I answered back.
"Hm…  well ok. You may go."Dad said
"Yes", I said happily.
"But under one condition. Me n mum will be accompanying u there. We will be driving there ourselves. And you may sit in Mike’s brother’s car," dad said.
"WHAT??" I asked shockingly."But.. but.."
"No buts. It’s tat or no." Dad said.
"Ok. I’ll tell them that…… but both of you are just going to ruin my life…" I said softly.

I’m sure they heard that, but they ignored it.

……

The next day, we were going up the mountains. I sat in Mike’s brother’s car thinking.

"Sigh.. I wish mum n dad shouldn’t have came. They will just be a burden to me. Now my friends are going to look down on me thinking that I’m uncapable of taking care of myself. I hate this."
I thought to myself whilte staring out of the car back seat window.

Suddenly a car out of the corner came crossing to our lane with high speed.

"WATCH OUT!" as one of my friends shouted.

SCreeecchhhh~~~~~~. The car which I’m in, manage to avoid the crazy car.

"Phew tat was close." said one of my frens.

Then I just realized.. Their car was behind us. Mum n dad. The crazy car was heading their way.
I quickly turned back.

Mum n dad’s car came crashing to the side of the road bars. They went through the bars and headed towards the cliffs. Their car was going down the cliffs. There wasn’t anything that I can do… but to stare, to watch as they go down the cliffs. I watched in awe, stunned, and silenced. As a tear from my eye starts to drop. As I knew.. that time everything was over.

My frens was shouting n screaming. They stopped the car. One of my friends started to call the ambulance. I was stunned. It was over. Emptiness, silence and depression.

"What have I done? Was it my fault? No, it wasn’t. It was theirs, for not listening to me. They shouldn’t have came with me. It was also the crazy car’s fault which cause them to be that way. It was his… yes… it was theirs…."

Tears started coming out of my eyes.
"I know I’m a guy, I shouldn’t be crying. I just shouldn’t be.. crying. But but……."

Tears started flowing slowly down my eyes…
"It is… so… empty.. so.. so .. empty…"

No.. no…. it was actually my fault. I was wrong. I got what I wished for. I should have listened to them and shouldn’t have came in the 1st place. The guilt… was all mine. I shouldn’t have said those hurtful words yesterday. It was too late.. too late, to tell them tat I didn’t mean those words. I wanted them to be with me..

They’re gone. Gone in a blink of an eye. In front of my eyes, in an instant. Down the cliff. What will be of me now? What will I do now? HOw will I be able to live on? I’m not ready yet.. I’m too young. What will my brothers and sisters think of me. What will happen to me? What will they say? How will we live on… what bout school, college, uni.."

Questions came racing through my mind. What.. why, who, how…
They just won’t stop.

It was too late.. Of all the times, when I just wanted to tell mum, how delicious her cooked food was. I wanted to say thanks for the wonderful dinner that she set everyday. How I like her cakes which she made. The sweet taste. And the coookies which she bake. Will I ever get to taste them again? Y didn’t I told her that when I still had the chance.

And dad. How could I be so naive all these times? Y didn’t I think b4 I talk. Y do I have to be so stubborn? I’m.. I’m sorry dad, sori for not listening to ur advices and keep on causing u troubles. Making u sad. And for the times which I scolded u, for being late, which U took ur time off from work, just to fetch me back home. I.. I .. didnt even said thx.

And for the times.. which I lied saying that I went for a group study, But instead, I was enjoying myself outside at parties. I’m sorry for making you worried. I didn’t meant to lie about the school project, the broken glass, and the other wrongs I have done. I really didn’t meant it. Truly.. I didn’t….

How could I be so sellfish. Y does it all has to be me? Have I ever thought of what others felt. They were worried of me. That’s y they accompanied me. And my sellfish thinking, lead them to this. What am I to do now? I’m lost. I’m so lost. Everything’s over… over……….over…. OVER!!!! OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ………… everything that matters in this world to me… is over…… ooovvveeerrrr….."

There was silence to my ears as I was trying to hold the tears. "I’m so… sorr…".

………..

…….

….

..

"Jeremy, Jeremy. It’s time to wake up. Come down and have ur breakfast." mum called.

I opened my eyes. I was back in my bedroon. Looking at the ceiling as a tear dripped from my eye

"It was… it was.. just a dream. It was all a dream. No. It wasn’t a dream…. It was a nightmare. The worse nightmare I had in my life. It was sad. It was torture. The agony. It was.. pain. So…pain.

But it was over. They r still here, and I’m not too late. It’s not too late…"

I wiped the tears off my eyes.
"Coming mum. I’ll.. I’ll be down soon." I responded

I went to the toilet, and started to wipe the tears. Looked in the mirror and thought. Still I didn’t have the courage to tell them how I felt. The feelings I had that very moment. The strong yet weak heart I had. Eventhough the pain was so unbearable, I didn’t tell them. But someday.. someday.. mom n dad, I promised, someday, I just wanna tell u both, that… that.. that….

I love you.

……

Then I got to the dining room. Seeing dad reading the newspaper and mom was serving breakfast.

I then said, "Mum n dad. I’ve.. I have decided not to go to that silly trip."
"Y? But son, you were so persistent to go yesteday and we’re alredi packed and the car’s fueled up and…" said mom passing me my breakfast plate.
"Mom… it’s alright." I answered and smiled.
"I just wanna spend time with you n dad today. Just today, Just us…"