My Life~

"Great, so where are we meeting?" I asked.

It was a Saturday afternoon. Me and a few frens of mine was sitting down at a cafe discussing about our plans for the school holiday break. We planned to go to Genting highlands, a resort which is located high up at the moutains. A nice place for relaxation and excitement. It was just right.

"Ok then, so it’s decided. Saturday, Mike’s place at 4pm," I said.

……

I quickly rushed back home and asked dad.

"No", Dad said without any hesitation.
"Y? It’s school holiday. And besides, it’s only a few days. Mike’s brother will be the one driving." I answered back.
"Hm…  well ok. You may go."Dad said
"Yes", I said happily.
"But under one condition. Me n mum will be accompanying u there. We will be driving there ourselves. And you may sit in Mike’s brother’s car," dad said.
"WHAT??" I asked shockingly."But.. but.."
"No buts. It’s tat or no." Dad said.
"Ok. I’ll tell them that…… but both of you are just going to ruin my life…" I said softly.

I’m sure they heard that, but they ignored it.

……

The next day, we were going up the mountains. I sat in Mike’s brother’s car thinking.

"Sigh.. I wish mum n dad shouldn’t have came. They will just be a burden to me. Now my friends are going to look down on me thinking that I’m uncapable of taking care of myself. I hate this."
I thought to myself whilte staring out of the car back seat window.

Suddenly a car out of the corner came crossing to our lane with high speed.

"WATCH OUT!" as one of my friends shouted.

SCreeecchhhh~~~~~~. The car which I’m in, manage to avoid the crazy car.

"Phew tat was close." said one of my frens.

Then I just realized.. Their car was behind us. Mum n dad. The crazy car was heading their way.
I quickly turned back.

Mum n dad’s car came crashing to the side of the road bars. They went through the bars and headed towards the cliffs. Their car was going down the cliffs. There wasn’t anything that I can do… but to stare, to watch as they go down the cliffs. I watched in awe, stunned, and silenced. As a tear from my eye starts to drop. As I knew.. that time everything was over.

My frens was shouting n screaming. They stopped the car. One of my friends started to call the ambulance. I was stunned. It was over. Emptiness, silence and depression.

"What have I done? Was it my fault? No, it wasn’t. It was theirs, for not listening to me. They shouldn’t have came with me. It was also the crazy car’s fault which cause them to be that way. It was his… yes… it was theirs…."

Tears started coming out of my eyes.
"I know I’m a guy, I shouldn’t be crying. I just shouldn’t be.. crying. But but……."

Tears started flowing slowly down my eyes…
"It is… so… empty.. so.. so .. empty…"

No.. no…. it was actually my fault. I was wrong. I got what I wished for. I should have listened to them and shouldn’t have came in the 1st place. The guilt… was all mine. I shouldn’t have said those hurtful words yesterday. It was too late.. too late, to tell them tat I didn’t mean those words. I wanted them to be with me..

They’re gone. Gone in a blink of an eye. In front of my eyes, in an instant. Down the cliff. What will be of me now? What will I do now? HOw will I be able to live on? I’m not ready yet.. I’m too young. What will my brothers and sisters think of me. What will happen to me? What will they say? How will we live on… what bout school, college, uni.."

Questions came racing through my mind. What.. why, who, how…
They just won’t stop.

It was too late.. Of all the times, when I just wanted to tell mum, how delicious her cooked food was. I wanted to say thanks for the wonderful dinner that she set everyday. How I like her cakes which she made. The sweet taste. And the coookies which she bake. Will I ever get to taste them again? Y didn’t I told her that when I still had the chance.

And dad. How could I be so naive all these times? Y didn’t I think b4 I talk. Y do I have to be so stubborn? I’m.. I’m sorry dad, sori for not listening to ur advices and keep on causing u troubles. Making u sad. And for the times which I scolded u, for being late, which U took ur time off from work, just to fetch me back home. I.. I .. didnt even said thx.

And for the times.. which I lied saying that I went for a group study, But instead, I was enjoying myself outside at parties. I’m sorry for making you worried. I didn’t meant to lie about the school project, the broken glass, and the other wrongs I have done. I really didn’t meant it. Truly.. I didn’t….

How could I be so sellfish. Y does it all has to be me? Have I ever thought of what others felt. They were worried of me. That’s y they accompanied me. And my sellfish thinking, lead them to this. What am I to do now? I’m lost. I’m so lost. Everything’s over… over……….over…. OVER!!!! OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ………… everything that matters in this world to me… is over…… ooovvveeerrrr….."

There was silence to my ears as I was trying to hold the tears. "I’m so… sorr…".

………..

…….

….

..

"Jeremy, Jeremy. It’s time to wake up. Come down and have ur breakfast." mum called.

I opened my eyes. I was back in my bedroon. Looking at the ceiling as a tear dripped from my eye

"It was… it was.. just a dream. It was all a dream. No. It wasn’t a dream…. It was a nightmare. The worse nightmare I had in my life. It was sad. It was torture. The agony. It was.. pain. So…pain.

But it was over. They r still here, and I’m not too late. It’s not too late…"

I wiped the tears off my eyes.
"Coming mum. I’ll.. I’ll be down soon." I responded

I went to the toilet, and started to wipe the tears. Looked in the mirror and thought. Still I didn’t have the courage to tell them how I felt. The feelings I had that very moment. The strong yet weak heart I had. Eventhough the pain was so unbearable, I didn’t tell them. But someday.. someday.. mom n dad, I promised, someday, I just wanna tell u both, that… that.. that….

I love you.

……

Then I got to the dining room. Seeing dad reading the newspaper and mom was serving breakfast.

I then said, "Mum n dad. I’ve.. I have decided not to go to that silly trip."
"Y? But son, you were so persistent to go yesteday and we’re alredi packed and the car’s fueled up and…" said mom passing me my breakfast plate.
"Mom… it’s alright." I answered and smiled.
"I just wanna spend time with you n dad today. Just today, Just us…"

Were you lonely for the New Year’s Eve celebration?

I was so happy!! Lyndi had agreed to celebrate New Year’s Eve with me!! It was the 31st of December. It was New Year’s Eve. It was 8:10 pm that night, and I was with Lyndi, a friend of mine which I had a long crush on since I was young. She was with me that very night, just 2 of us and I was glad she was beside me. She had agreed to be with me that very night to celebrate this wonderful event. I wanted to enjoy this celebration with her as much as possible. I wanted her to be happy.

We were in an indoor theme park at Metro Mall. My part time job at Burger King finally paid off as I had enough money to enter the theme park with her to sit on the rides. There was a new ride called the F-Zone, which was a new roller coaster ride. It was thrilling from what I had heard from my friends. I wanted to try it.

And so I brought Lyndi to this ride. There were a lot of ppl waiting in line. It was a long cue. But I didn’t mind waiting.

I said to her,
"Lyndi, let’s get on this ride. It’ll be great!"

Lyndi replied in an uncertain voice,
"Erm… Can we skip this ride instead?"

I was confused as why she said that so I ask,
"Why, is there something wrong? The ride will be great. Not everyone has the chance to sit on the ride. It’s a once in a lifetime chance this New Year’s Eve."

She answered,
"Erm.. I just don’t wan to sit on this ride."

I asked again,
"Is it because that the cue is long? Don’t worry about that, we’ll still be able to catch the fireworks after the ride. And it’ll be fast. Trust me.

She said,
"No it’s not that. It’s just….."

I said without thinking much,
"Don’t tell me u r afraid, aren’t you? I’ll be by ur side. Don’t be scared."

She said angrily,
"I’m not scared. It’s just that I don’t wan to sit on this ride."

She looks frustated but I continued saying,
"Now don’t be a baby. It’s just a ride. Why would you be so scared?"

She was pissed by then and said,
"Fine, if you love it so much, then why not u ride it urself?"

"Lyndi wait………", I called her as she left. She walked away from me. I couldn’t c a sign of her anymore.
"Fine, I’ll wait in the cue myself." as I said to myself.

It was almost my turn. I could c the ride. I was terrified by the turns it made. I was shaking.
It was my turn, I was the next person to enter. But I stop moving forward. I felt something. Something that kept me from entering. The person behind me ask me whether I was going to enter. I thought for a while.. There was something not there. I decided to back off and walk off from the line.

I was so close to entering the most thrilling ride of the year. I was so close. But I didn’t enter.
I felt something was gone. I felt something was missing. I wasn’t scared of the ride. I wasn’t scared of the turns it made.

A tear came down my eye. I realize I lost something important. It was Lyndi. She left me. No… She didn’t left me. I left her. It was my fault. My stubborness. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have forced her to sit on this ride. Now she had walked away. I didn’t know where she went. I coudln’t contact her. There were many ppl.

Lonely again for new year’s eve? How could this be? I had things planned out so well. I had lost… lost her. Lost something that I would wan to give my life to. How could it be that I’m lonely this year again?

I had to go find her again. I went to search for her. Seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours. I coudln’t find her. I thought a lot. I know I was wrong. I’m able to repent. Y was I so stupid? How could it be.. Was the ride more important than her? I had planned and work so hard….. For what I had worked for, for what I had planned for? It was for… her.. and only her. How could it be… that I’m lonely again..

It was nearly new year. Every1 was happy, but why was I sad? I could see Children laughing, frens playing with each other, parents enjoying the events happily with their children. But I was alone. It felt so cold. Tears slowly came down my eyes. Sad… a feeling of emptyiness….
I had planned to be with her this very day, of all I had gave was to be with her. But now she wasn’t there. Wasn’t there…. wasn’t by my side.

I sat down at a bench, thinking of her. Thinking of the stupid things I’ve said. Looking down to the ground. Dissapointed.. feeling stupid. Feeling so stupid. So so stupid.

Suddenly a pack of tissue papers was given to me as I looked to the ground. I slowly looked up still feeling sad, I could c a girl’s hand giving me the tissue papers. Light were shining towards me. I looked up and I saw clearly, that it was her. It was Lyndi. I saw her face, it was beautiful, just like an angel. I found her. No I didn’t found her…. she was the one that found me..

She said to me in a soft voice,
"Erm.. I think u might need this."

I was glad. I saw her. I didn’t think I could find her anymore in this busy mall. I took the tissue papers and wipe off the tears in my eyes. It was kind of embarassing but I didn’t mind. She was there. And she was beside me. That made me happy.

She said later,
"Let’s go over there. I found out that we will get a better look at the fireworks standing there."
I agreed and we both started walking to that area.

I said to her while walking,
"Lyndi, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for saying those things just now. I should have been more understanding to you and shouldn’t have forced you to sit on the ride with me. I’m really sorry for that."

She replied back,
"Well it’s ok. I should have went with you to the ride too. But how was the ride anyway?"

I answered nervoulsy,
"Erm.. er.. er….. actually I didn’t manage to go for the ride."

She asked,
"Why was that? Well i know, u’r scared too. That’s why u were crying. Hehe."

I said quickly,
"No I wasn’t crying. There was er… er.. something in my eye. And I definitely wasn’t scared of the ride. I could even ride on the giant drop. Roller coasters aren’t even a match for me."

She asked hastly,
"Then why didn’t you go for the ride?"

I said in a low tone voice feeling kind of awkward,
"I didn’t sit on the ride because.. because…."

3
2
1
0

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Fire works shot up into the air making loud noices. We both looked up. It was a wonderful sight. Really wonderful. I put my right hand around her waist. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled at her back. We both looked up at the fireworkds. It was great.

I said in a soft voice hoping that she couldn’t hear,

It was because….
I didn’t wan be lonely for new year’s eve again.

————————————————————————————————-

I wasn’t lonely for the new year.
I wasn’t with my GF or my wife.
I wasn’t with the person which I had a crush on
i wasn’t with the girl which I’m interested at.

But I was with some1. I wasn’t alone.
I was with my family and my friends.

How bout you?

On top was a little story which I wrote myself again. It didn’t really happen but It would be a great experience if it did happened. Hope I didn’t made any spelling or grammar mistakes again. Thx for reading btw. Hope u learn something from it. Lolz XD

Shud up, no thank you and don’t ask why

How to understand girls clearly. This is wat they really meant when they say:

i don’t know -> shud up and dun ask
maybe -> shud up and if you piss me off, you’re dead
haha yeah right -> shud up you liar
sorry -> shud up, i’m trying to make you feel better
thank you -> i never ask for this/that why you give it to me?
it’s ok, i don’t mind -> shud up and dun piss me off

Claps* Claps*

The Story:-
GF observing a cake in a bakery shop.
BF. "Do u like that cake?"
GF. "mayb"
means = shud up and if you piss me off, you’re dead

BF. "Wat do u think they use to make this cake?"
GF. "i don’t know"
means = shud up and dun ask

BF. "I bet they used chocolate icing, and also some cream with some butter."
GF. "haha yeah right"
means = shud up you liar

BF. "U sound so sarcastic. But it’s true i tell you."
GF: "sorry"
means = shud up, i’m trying to make you feel better

BF: "No it’s ok. I’ll get u this cake then."
GF: "thank you. But it’s ok u don’t have to"
means = i never ask for this/that why you give it to me?

BF: "U sure? U kinda seem to like this cake"
GF: "it’s ok, i don’t mind"
means = shud up and dun piss me off

BF walks into the backery shop. GF was actually staring at the model of the bride n bridegroom on the wedding cake not the cake.

So the whole point is, shud up.

A girl and 2 ships
It was on a cloudy afternoon. A beautiful girl stood at a harbour waiting. She was wearing a long blue dress and a brown straw hat. A good looking man dressed in white, came by, and asked her wat she was waiting for. She pointed out to the sea. To where she pointed was a light blue colored sailor ship. It was small and seemed old. The man noticed that she was waiting for that blue ship to come pick her up.

So the man said,"Are you waiting for that ship?"
She nodded as a sign of saying yes

The man then said,"Why not u take a ride on my ship. Mine is bigger, has better facilities, and it will bring u to wherever u want to go."
She insisted that she would wait.

The man continued saying,"My ship will never sink and will pass through many storms through many days and nights. It will bring you to places you’ve never been. It can even bring u home safe n sound"
She still insisted that she would wait.

The man then asked,"Does that ship know that u r waiting for it?"
She shook her head left and right as a sign of saying no

The man then asked again,"Did that ship asked you to wait for it at the harbour?"
She shook her head left and right again as a sign of saying no

The man was furios by now but continued asking,"Why would you wait for that ship? It’s small, it’s uncomfortable, it’s dirty, and it has no great facilities compare to mine. And most of all, it doesn’t know that you are waiting for it at all. Maybe it doesn’t even know that u r standing here. So why do u put urself into so much trouble waiting for it? My boat’s bigger, better, and most of all, I can see c that u r standing here and wanting a ride home. I’m offering u a free ride home. U don’t even have to pay me a single dime. So why? Why do u still insist to ride on that dirty old ship."

The man stopped talking. The girl faced the man. She smiled…. and said.
"It’s because… I like that ship."

————————————————————————————————-

If it was you, would u do the same?
Would u wait for something that’s been ignoring you all this while? Would it be worthwhile waiting?
Do you think the person u been waiting for would give u wat u really wanted?
U have a beautiful future in front of u which some1 is offering you.
Would u turn it down for something that u’ve been waiting for and that person you’ve been waiting for doesn’t even notice u are waiting for it at all?
Would u be so stupid to wait for something that u like eventhough it takes 100 years to wait?
Would u? WOULD YOU?

I would. I’m stupid

How bout you?
Think about it.

( Sori for the english mistakes if I have mad any. )

Woohoo~ created my 1st Friendster BLog.. I have another blog in msn.
To prevent me from keep on copying n pasting, plz add me in msn messenger to view my Blog.

PsycheKitojoy@hotmail.com

Ok. ^_^
Have a nice day~